Each month, The Chomp is publishing a senior’s college essay, and I am first. I submitted this essay to almost every school I applied to, it was my main Common App personal essay, and it seems to have worked thus far (knock on wood, still waiting for a few more responses!)
In a small town elementary school classroom, a 10 year-old-boy sits under a gray reading nook table in the corner of the room, unmoving, crying. The school counselor calls these episodes “meltdowns”; something has happened to dramatically upset him. He isn’t fully in control of himself during these outbursts. The blue carpet under him feels scratchy, with crumbs and dirt within the bristles, as he stains his space-themed shirt with tears. He goes ignored by classmates; he has done this so many times that they don’t say anything anymore, not to his face anyway. As for him, he’s horribly embarrassed every time, but he cannot stop. Once a meltdown starts, he is frozen; he is under the table to hide. He wants to stop, to not have these overwhelming emotions, but he simply doesn’t know how.
At 10 years old, I was diagnosed with Tourette’s, one of the most misunderstood neurological conditions. I did not have vocal tics like cursing, instead I experienced a variety of involuntary facial movements. The condition caused behavioral issues and severe anxiety that would trigger meltdowns. Whether triggered by stress, anxiety, or uncomfortable social situations, I would shut down. The feeling was claustrophobic; I was so overwhelmed, and often embarrassed, unable to make myself move or respond to anyone. Eventually, I started seeing a therapist to help stop tics and episodes before they even began.
Although I’d like to say it was easy, the journey was long. For over two years, I attended weekly therapy sessions, and practiced daily. The therapy utilized CBIT (Comprehensive Behavioral Intervention for Tics), which inhibits tics by recognizing the urge before it occurs, intentionally substituting a different movement to physically counteract the tic. For example, one of my tics involved opening the corner of my mouth, like a half smile. To counter it, I would press my lips together. Through repetition of this technique, I broke the connection in my brain that was causing the tic. The hard work paid off; seven years later, I have almost no tics at all. The techniques also helped reduce my anxiety. I learned to take a moment to breathe, identify the problem, and respond in a way that prevented a meltdown. With determined application of these techniques, I greatly reduced the effect Tourette’s had on my life, succeeding because of my desire to improve. I wasn’t the kid crying under the table anymore.
Over time, I’ve faced other, more typical challenges, and continued to succeed. The transition from elementary school to middle and high school wasn’t easy, but I adjusted quickly. I made new friends, and felt more connected to them. I’ve taken on difficult classes, such as high level math, advanced art courses, and honors in every subject since middle school. I’ve achieved top grades and test scores, while balancing my time with various extracurriculars: I’ve been a class officer since freshman year, participated in performing arts in several ways, contributed to Newspaper and Latin clubs, and much more. Through my tenacity, I’ve moved past my struggles to succeed more than I believed possible.
Tourette’s was difficult to overcome, but my ability to do so proves that I can handle and conquer any challenge thrown at me; I have grown beyond the boy sobbing in school. Now, I am pushing forward in life, with plans to succeed in college and my future career. I’m thankful to my parents for realizing the help I needed, and I’m incredibly proud of myself for having the strength to put in the work and effort time and time again. Without this determination, I wouldn’t be the achiever I am today. I’ve gotten up from under the table, wiped my tears, and am facing life with confidence to succeed.
